Ai Shitteru
by YaoiQueen95
Summary: What would it take for Byakuya to tell Renji that he loves him. Byakuya struggles to tell Renji how he feels about him.


**Thrid thing this day I am proud of myself. This is my first time writing about this two because I have just started to like them as a couple. I still don't own anything.**

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Byakuya ran forward as soon as he felt Renji's sprite energy weakened, his mind was in complete disarray. He believe that his lover was dead as he flashed stepped toward his beloved Renji. His mind was blank as he got to where Renji was he was under rubble and looked as if he were dead.

"Renji." He whispered afraid of losing this man that had been able to make him happy for a time. He pushed and kicked, very unnoble like of him, the rubble away from Renji his heart in his throat as he managed to pull Renji out of the rubble. He dragged his subordinate onto his lap where he began to examine the damaged that had been done. He began to heal all of the injuries up as best he could, which was very good for someone outside the fourth division.

"Please Renji wake up." Byakuya whispered into Renji's ears his voice which to must people would sound monotone to Renji sounded worry making him reach forward through that beautiful voice so full of worry.

"I-I'm OK captain." Renji mumbled. His head hurt like crazy, his arm was broken even though the pain had settled to a dull throb, he knew that some of his ribs had been broken as well, and his mind was a little fuzzy but he didn't want his lover to worry. Byakuya didn't say anything else as he helped Renji to his feet and dragged him to a cave that he had seem a few feet back. He wished dearly that they were in soul society where he could get Renji some real help.

"Sorry captain I wasn't much help." Renji whispered he had known that it would be tough to come to huenco mundo, but he had felt the need to. He felt desperate to know that Byakuya wasn't mad or disappointed in him.

"I'm not disappointed Renji. If that is what worries you. I was worried for your safety." Byakuya said as if reading his mind. He so desperately wanted to tell Renji that he loved him with all his heart but those words were so hard for him to say and he feared that if he didn't say them Renji might dump him.

"Thanks taicho. I'm glad. I love you, Byakuya." Renji whispered as he was swallowed up by the darkness that had been creeping up his conscious. All he knew was that he needed to tell Byakuya how he felt in case he didn't make it out of there alive. He knew that he had said those words endless times to Byakuya but he had never gotten them in return. It never mattered to him for he knew that Byakuya truly loved him. He had demonstrated that many times before and that had always been enough. He did wish that Byakuya would tell him I love you or something like that every now and them it would make him so happy.

"Renji rest now." Byakuya whispered as he put Renji on the cave floor. Taking of his haori to use as a blanket for Renji. He smiled at Renji who looked so peaceful at the moment. With a heavy sigh he sat down on the floor next to Renji and waited for him to wake up so that they could head for the garganta that would take them to soul society.

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Renji didn't so much as move for about three hours making Byakuya worry about him. Byakuya got up and looked around the little cave there was nothing useful in it and they had no food or water with them. He couldn't help but let another sigh escape him after all he wasn't in soul society he didn't have to pretend that he didn't care about anyone or anything. Here he could be his real self it only he knew who that was. Without making a sound he walked out the cave making sure to suppress his sprite energy. He almost jumped out of his skin as he felt two strong arms wrap around his waist and felt Renji's chin resting on his shoulder.

"Something wrong taicho?" Renji whispered into Byakuya's ear making a shudder run down his spin. How he loved that feeling. That pleasure Renji caused just by looking at him. He couldn't remember when he had fallen for Renji, but now they were together which was all that matter. He only wished he could tell Renji how he felt.

"Hm. No nothing is wrong." Byakuya somethings felt like screaming in annoyance at how pathetic he was for not telling Renji does simple words and for always talking to him without a trace of love or affection in his voice. Still Renji stayed by his side. Renji's life was dedicated to making Byakuya smile and making him happy that was all that ever really mattered to him.

"You sure Byakuya." Renji purred out his name causing a small smile to appear on Byakuya's face. Byakuya always wondered why Renji stayed with him, after all, he didn't deserve such a special person as Renji to love him not after all the mistakes he had made.

"It's nothing I was just thinking." He mentally slapped himself he had given to much away now Renji would start to worry about him and he really didn't want that.

"Stop lying to me Byakushi." Renji told him sternly even when he used that nickname that Yachiru had given him it didn't annoy him at all. In fact it made his insides melt.

"It's nothing for you to worry about Abarai-fukutaicho." Byakuya said it so sternly that for just a moment Renji almost backed down.

"Tell me please Byakushi." Renji wasn't one to plead but at the moment he was ready to start pleading. He wondered what had his usually calm taicho so out of control. While this close to his taicho he could feel the disorder in his sprite energy.

"I-I was just thinking Renji." Byakuya replied he still didn't understand why he gave so much ground when Renji asked him something he just couldn't say no anymore.

"About what?" Renji continued probing. He knew Byakuya would tell him eventually. He smirk as he kissed Byakuya's neck and turned him around.

"I..." Byakuya couldn't bring himself to say anything what would he say _Hey Renji why do you stay by my side _or _Do you hate me for not telling you what you want to hear Renji? _No he wasn't going to go there he had heard from Renji that Yumichika had confronted Ikkaku on something similar and some how Ikkaku had managed to say the right thing shocking as that was but even so they hadn't been that close for a few years after that. He didn't have the guts to say it to Renji or to ponder why Renji loved him. He just wanted to stay with him forever.

"Byakuya you can trust me you know that right?" Renji whispered as he moved forward capturing Byakuya's soft lips with his own. He felt Byakuya's arms wrap around his neck and his mouth move against his deepening the kiss. With a smile on his face Renji pulled back and waited.

"I-I was wondering why... you stayed with me? I never... really show you how I feel and it makes me wonder why you would love someone like me. I'm pathetic. You could be with.. someone that would tell you how they feel, but you stay with me. Why?" Byakuya sighed there he had said what was worrying him, well part of it anyways, and now waited for Renji to laugh in his face. With a heavy heart Byakuya looked up at Renji. He knew that his eyes were showing what he was feeling but at the moment he didn't have the strength to hide his emotions.

'Byakuya. Don't talk like that you're not pathetic and I don't care I know you love me and that is all that matters." Renji whispered softly gently pulling Byakuya into a hug. He heard the soft sigh of relief that escaped Byakuya and smiled.

"Thank you Renji." Renji still held Byakuya in his arms as Byakuya pulled back to look at Renji with a look of determination and his gray-blue eyes.

"I-I love you Renji. I love you so very much." Renji stared with his mouth wide open and stared and stared and blinked once twice three times to say he was shocked was on understatement. Byakuya had said it he had really said it. Renji could have started jumping up and down in happiness but instead kissed Byakuya softly and smiled at him again. Now they knew that nothing would ever separate them here or in soul society. Their love was real and they both knew that nothing could ever break that.

"Thank you Byakuya for saying that. I love you too." Renji started laughing who would have thought that it would take being in huenco mundo facing their deaths to make this stoic man state his real feels, but to Renji it didn't matter as long as they were together. They walked off ready to go home where they could celebrate.

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**Hope you liked and please review wether you liked it or not I want to hear your opinion. **


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